Mocca Coffee, Tears And Tough Decisions.

Today has been a tough one.



This week has been a hard one.



The same can be said about my life.



Can i be bothered to explain?

No.



Definatly not.


But i'm going to anyway.
Not about the life thing.
No way.
But the week thing?
Still No. You should have read all my blogds by now.
And the day thing?
Yes.
Just like i do everyday.
I will tell you exactly what happened in my life on the 6 of may, 2010.

I will start at 6am. I woke up because i couldn't breathe. That was..petrifying. Do you know what it's like waking up from sleep realising you can't breathe and you need to, NOW? Well i doubt you do. Unless you have asthma. Like me. I didn't shout out, like you probably would. Because i couldn't. I wouldn't. Because shouting or making any noise would take up what breath i had left. And that little amount of breath was all i had to hold on to consienceness. Maybe even life, if i didn't start my breathing up again quickly. But as usual, nothing dramatic happened, and i somehow managed to reopen my airways with a blue peice of plastic with that amazing, life saving medicine inside.
I then heard my alarm going off. What timing, right? I had forgotten that my sister had a school trip and had to be in morpeth at 7, and it's a half hour drive. So, i got dressed, made up etc and left the house.
We got to morpeth at 7 on the dot, my sister walked to school and me and my father went into Costa Coffee to wait for things. Me, for someone to talk to about things that had been happening. My dad, for work to start. Sophia, my friend and classmate then walked in, and i remembered that i had arranged to meet her here at around half 7. We drank some coffee, Mocca to be precise and then got another each to take out so we could walk and talk. I explained a bit about what had recently been happening with my mother, which i will not post on here. It's not good for me to let people i know in on my home life. It's hard to even write this, seeing as i have Sam following me. I see him everyday and i love him:)
Anyway, back to my day methinks?
So sophia and i walked upto school and went to registaration. That's when things started to go really bad. I was thinking about how i always screw things up, wherever i go and whatever i do. Then i started thinging about my mother and things, and i panicked. My breathing started racing and my heart was pounding against my ribcage. My hands went sweaty, and i was shaking. I ran out of registration and sat outside on the wet paving stones. I tried to calm myself down, stop the tears and slow my heartbeat. After about 5 minutes i managed to do so pretty well and i turned around to see Michael Moult watching me. I sat next to mickey in reg, and euan hated him because he was jealous. Me and euan still weren't talking, and i was upset when i ran out and euan didn't even look at me.
I talked to michael for a while and then sorted myself out. I collected my bags and went to first lesson. It was english and we were doing shakespere again. It was an easy lesson because we were watching a movie of one of his plays, Richard III.
Second lesson was ITP, ITPlus. It was fun, i sit next to one of my best friends Abbi, and we talked for the whole lesson.
Third was pe, and we were doing high jump, which i LOVE! I beat my record at it, which was 1.10 and now is 1.15.
Fourth i had drama and wasn't really in the mood for it, so i was very bored for most of it, and i couldn't get into my roles. I was told that normally i'm much better and was asked what was wrong, but i kept quiet and just said i was tired, which was true, after my 6am start.
Fifth lesson, i had French, and we were watching some dumb film that i couldn't understand. So i sat next to Abbi again, and we talked through most of it.
Then, i went to athletics after school. it was fun, but i hurt my back from landing on a metal bar 3 times on high jump, i also now have a limp, as i tripped over a hurdle and scuffed my knee.
Then i walked home with my friend Rachel, and we talked about the problem with me and euan. So many peple had came over to me today asking me why i hadn't finished with him and that i should, beecause i could do so much better. I don't believe that, but i talked to rachel about it, and she helped my come to a tough decision on what to do. I'm not finishing euan. I love him. But i'm going to talk to him and tell him that i think he's over-reacting and that i'm sorry.
I came home and fell into the computer chair. My bud SAM KERSHAW wasn't online, so i was bummed out even more:)
My sister wants to be on the computer, so i'll log off the computer, and read it again via my mobile, and if i've missed anything important, i shall make a new post informing you of it:)
Love,
Max:)
xxx